Fears and Doubts
by PugNTurtle
Summary: While over in Iraq, Bobby Lashley and Lilian Garcia get to know each other... she has fears and he has doubts. But then something happens that will change both of them forever, and possibily lead to love. ONESHOT


Just a little one shot I wanted to do after seeing all the picture of Lilian and Bobby from the Iraq trip… I disclaim. I own no one…

* * *

You Just Don't Know Me at All… 

Yes, it was Lilian Garcia's hit song from the WWE Originals CD… but it was also a true statement…

And sitting in a Blackhawk helicopter preparing to take off so the WWE Superstars could visit military personnel in Iraq, Lilian couldn't help but realize how much people didn't know about her.

Not many people knew this, but Lilian was terrified of small spaces and being closed in. She truly hated the feeling of being trapped. It was a fear that had developed somewhere, somehow in her childhood, leading to her hating having to fly. Instead, she chose to drive whenever possible… in huge SUV's that gave her plenty of space. The huge vehicles were a godsend to Lilian… and God help the people who stood too close to the Latina. While she was never rude, she always stepped away so they were not too close to her. Only a few times had she had to say something to someone about backing away from her.

And in this tiny helicopter that she was seated in, her nerves were being to flare up.

Badly.

Last year hadn't been so bad, maybe because she had the comfort of her good friends Candice Michelle and Trish Stratus… two women who she knew wouldn't tease her for her fear. Two women who had sat with the little blonde and comforted her through the rides from base to base, trying to keep Lilian distracted and amused. Even the year before had been tolerable, as she had Eddie Guerrero and Mick Foley, two genuinely funny men, in her group that had helped her to forget her fears. Granted they hadn't realized what they were doing, but still… it had helped.

But now… now, Candice was out with an injury, and Trish had retired. Eddie, God rest his soul, was gone and Mick… well, Mick was out of the question. She supposed she could have talked to Maria or even Torrie, but…

She couldn't. It was too embarrassing to her. In fact, only a few people knew about her fear. Her parents and sister knew, of course; then, Trish and Candice were made well aware. She had also confided in Nelson Frazier, the man known as Viscera to WWE fans, when he had stood so close to her in their first segment together last year. He hadn't known of her fear, as many people didn't, and had apologized immediately. Despite his frightening character, Nelson was a good guy. There were some segments that had required for him to be really close to her, and the big man had attempted to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

With a nervous sigh, Lilian leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Many of the people in her group had already settled into the helicopter for the ride to the base, making the space in the helicopter even sparser and causing her pulse to quicken.

She took a deep breath, suddenly wishing that she had taken up her doctor's offer for a prescription of an anxiety reducer.

"Are you okay, Lilian?"

The blonde nearly groaned at Vince McMahon's question, forcing her eyes open to meet the concerned gaze of the Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment. "Yes, sir. Probably just something I ate this morning," she lied, not wanting to admit her fear in front of her boss or the Undertaker or Torrie or anyone else… while she was pretty sure they wouldn't tease her, it was still something she hated to admit to anyone.

"Did you want to stay back here?" Vince asked sympathetically.

For the briefest of moments, she considered saying yes so she wouldn't have to endure the cramped space of the helicopter. But then she thought of the soldiers… the men and women who sacrificed their lives everyday for freedom. Men and women who were selfless and didn't think twice of coming over to Iraq. Men and women who were looking forward to meeting her and the other WWE superstars.

"No, sir. I just took some Pepto Bismol so I should be fine," Lilian lied.

"Okay," Vince replied, still skeptical at the look that was gracing Lilian's pretty features.

She sighed softly again, trying to hide back a groan as Bobby Lashley sat next to her. While he was a nice enough guy, he was still huge… and his mass was _not_ going to help her with the battle against feeling trapped. _This is a losing battle,_ the little blonde thought wryly, taking another deep breath and trying to remember the tips her therapist had given her many years ago as she gripped the handles of her seat…

"So what is it? Height or small spaces?" Lashley asked softly as he strapped his seatbelt on.

Lilian's green eyes widened and she looked up at the ECW Champion. She half expected him to be giving her a look of disdain, but his dark eyes held nothing but curiosity.

"I… excuse me?" she finally asked, confused.

"You can't take Pepto Bismol. It makes you even sicker," Lashley replied casually. Seeing Lilian's shocked look, Lashley added, "I overheard you telling that to Lita at Survivor Series when she asked if you had any."

Lilian frowned, remembering how she felt sympathetic for the diva. Poor Lita's nerves were so shot that night, and Lilian hadn't been able to help out the redhead. But it was true… Pepto was by far the worst medicine in the world as far as Lilian was concerned. "I…" she began hesitantly, only to freeze when the helicopter roared to life and began to rise in the air.

Instinctively, her hands wrapped around his large arm. Realizing that she was holding the wrestler's arm in a death grip, she began to let go, only to have the wrestler place his free hand over hers.

"It's okay. You can hold my arm," Lashley said softly, so softly that she almost didn't hear him over the whirring blades of the small helicopter. "It'll make for good photo opportunities," he added wryly, gesturing to the WWE photographer who was currently snapping a picture of the pair.

"Wow… would you just look at that?" she heard Torrie say, the diva glancing out the window as the rest of the people looked out to the war torn Iraqi land.

Lilian didn't follow suit; rather, she muttered to Lashley, "I hate small spaces."

"I figured," Lashley replied calmly, his tone nonjudgmental. "You were fine flying over here in that huge plane. Are you okay?"

"I will be once we're on the ground and out of this damn helicopter," Lilian replied, hesitating before adding, "I just hate the feeling of being stuck here and trapped and knowing there isn't anyplace to go. And I took a sleeping pill on that other plane to knock me out."

"It's okay, Lilian, we all have fears," Lashley whispered, turning his head to that his lips were close to her face. "You want to know what I'm scared of?"

"What's that?" Lilian asked curiously, for a brief moment forgetting about her fears.

"Cats," Lashley answered honestly.

"You're afraid of cats?" Lilian asked incredulously, her grip on his arm releasing slightly.

"Yeah… I don't know what it is about them, but I hate them. If they cross my path, I act like a little girl," Lashley admitted.

Lilian giggled slightly. "Wow," she said, one of her hands dropping from around his arm to rest in her lap. "You're so big and brave… I can't believe you're afraid of anything, much less cats!"

"Yeah… well, like I said Lilian, we all have our fears," Lashley pointed out.

Lilian relaxed, though her fear sparked when Maria leaned across the little blonde to say something to CM Punk, who was sitting next to Lashley. Her grip again reflectively tightened, her fingers turning white from the exertion.

"You're fine, Lilian," Lashley whispered. "We'll be at the base soon… and you'll be out of here," the big man soothed.

"Okay," Lilian whispered, trying to stop her heart from beating so fast as Maria sat back against her seat. She lifted a hand, the one that wasn't holding Bobby's arm so tightly and wiped her brow, not surprised to feel a thin sheen of sweat.

"Hey, Lilian. Knock knock," Lashley spoke up after a few moments of silence.

Lilian glanced at him, incredulous. "Aren't we a little too old for knock knock jokes?" she asked.

"You're never too old for them," Lashley replied wryly. "So knock knock."

"Who's there?" Lilian asked suspiciously.

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting c-" she began, only to have Lashley cut her off.

"MOO!" the ECW World Champion said. Lilian giggled, shaking her head.

"I should have seen that one coming," Lilian said. "Okay. Knock knock."

"No one's in at the moment. Please call to leave a message."

"Hey! I listened to your joke!"

"Okay, okay. Knock knock."

"Who's there… wait! That's my line!"

"Wait, that's my line who?"

"Bobby!"

"Okay," the wrestler said with a grin. "Who's there?"

"No, no, no. Knock knock."

Lashley pretended to roll his eyes as he asked again, "Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo who?"

"Oh, don't cry, it's just a stupid knock knock joke!"

Lashley laughed deeply, relieved to see that Lilian seemed to be relaxing slightly as she grinned widely at him. He knew what it was like to be scared of something, and he could only imagine how Lilian felt being enclosed in such a small aircraft…

A few more bad jokes later and the helicopter was making its landing. Once they were safely on the ground, Lashley cleared his throat.

"Hey, guys, can we get off first?" Lashley asked. "I really need to get out of this chopper," he added, placing the attention on himself rather than Lilian.

"Sure," Vince said with a shrug, gesturing for the two superstars to exit first.

Lilian breathed a sigh of relief when she set foot on the soil again, instantly feeling much better as there was more space around her. She turned to Lashley, smiling up at the wrestler.

"Thank you," she said softly, smiling up at him.

"It's not a problem," Lashley replied, shrugging slightly to indicate it was no big deal.

He did, however, blush when the little blonde stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly before turning to Maria and Torrie, the three divas obviously ready to charm the troops who were looking at the group of superstars excitedly.

* * *

Lilian couldn't sleep. 

After a day of visiting several bases throughout Iraq, one would think she would be worn out. But Lilian couldn't seem to fall asleep.

She was half tempted to blame it on her sleeping conditions… all the divas were sharing a room and there were only two beds and a cot. She had selflessly given up the beds, offering them to the other divas. While Torrie had offered to share the small bed with the little blonde, Lilian had declined, not wanting the superstars to go nuts over the fact they had shared a bed and tease the two of them about it for the rest of their WWE tenures.

She was fine with sleeping on the floor for the trip... Hell, when she first began with the company, there were many nights where she had snuck into the other diva's rooms in hopes of saving some money, and her colleagues had often done the same thing with her. Sleeping on the floor was no big deal, as she did it then in addition to when she was younger and would have to give up her bed in offering to soldiers who would visit her dad…

No, it wasn't the sleeping positions…

It was Bobby Lashley.

He was an incredibly nice man. Bobby had been so sweet to Lilian today, offering her comforting statements when she was scared, making her smile in the face of fear. She wasn't sure why he was being so nice, as the big man and her were on totally different rosters and only saw each other at pay per views and rare joint TV tapings… and even then they hadn't had much contact.

Still… he was very polite to everyone. And funny. At the press conference for the Tribute to the Troops show, Lashley had been paired up with Lilian. He had joked around as they waited for the other superstars to talk, causing the little blonde to giggle so hard that it was almost impossible for her to go out on stage… where she had looked at him with admiration as he spoke about his own experiences in the military.

With a sigh, Lilian rolled over and stood up, stretching slightly as she glanced at the other divas. Maria was sound asleep on the cot, her arm sprawled out and nearly touching the floor. Melina was sleeping on one of the beds, a black eye mask covering the manager's eyes. Torrie was on the other bed, laying on her stomach as her face was buried in the pillow. The last diva, Kristal, was also selflessly sleeping on the floor, snoring slightly and muttering something every once in awhile.

Lilian yawned slightly, though she was nowhere near sleepy. Without thinking, she exited the small room and walked through the hotel… and outside. She shivered slightly as the cold night air hit her… despite being in a pair of long johns, flannel pajamas, thick socks, and boots, she was still a little cold.

Lilian frowned as she saw a figure sitting in the opening, staring out into the open fields that rolled past the former palace of dictator Saddam Hussein.

Wordlessly, she sat next to Bobby Lashley, her knee grazing against his leg, not saying a word as she too stared out into the fields, simply thinking.

"Can you hear that, Lilian?" he asked softly after several long minutes of content silence.

"I don't really hear anything, Bobby," Lilian answered honestly.

"Exactly. Can you name one place in the United States where it's this quiet?"

"Certainly not New York City," Lilian joked. "There's always some sort of action going on, no matter the hour," she told him. She thought a little longer, then answered, "But to answer your question… no. I can't."

"Exactly. It's so quiet at night here," Bobby answered. "I mean… you can't really hear anything. Not even helicopters."

Lilian nodded. "And that's weird. You would think night would be noisy here. But… it's really peaceful. You can almost forget that you're in the middle of a war zone."

"Yeah… it's hard to believe that I gave this up to be in the WWE," Bobby said softly.

Lilian shivered slightly, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Bobby. Without saying a word, he shook off his jacket, wrapping the large coat around the little blonde's shoulders.

"No, Bobby, you'll get sick," she protested, attempting to shrug the coat off.

"And so will you. I have three layers on and am kind of warm. So please take it," he replied, rewrapping his coat around her shoulders.

"I…" she began, only to shush when he gave her a look. "Thank you," she instead answered.

"You're welcome," Bobby answered, hesitantly wrapping an arm around her, relieved when the little blonde scooted a little closer rather than flinching. "This isn't making you uncomfortable, is it?"

"No, I'm okay," Lilian answered truthfully. "Thank you for being so concerned, though. Most of the guys just come up and hug me without thinking that it may startle me… or… in some cases, scare me."

"Well, let me know if you need space," Bobby told her.

"Okay," Lilian answered, laying her head on his shoulder. She hesitated, then asked, "How close were you to coming over here?"

"Pretty close," Bobby answered softly. "Closer than many people think…"

He was silent for several long moments before speaking up again. "I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision… if maybe I shouldn't have joined WWE and if I should have stayed in the Army. I sometimes wonder how much different my life would be if I would have been deployed and not entered the WWE."

"We might have been visiting you today," Lilian answered softly, unsure of how to reply to that statement.

"That's very true," Lashley agreed, silence once again falling over them. "I just… I'm so grateful to the men and women over here. And I sometimes wonder if I was selfish to leave the Army and come to the WWE."

Lilian was quiet for a long time, again not totally sure of how to answer. She opened her mouth to reply, not exactly knowing what was going to come out of her mouth.

However, a large rumbling startled her, and her green eyes darted to the field, her blood running cold as she saw flames erupt from the ground. She glanced upwards, not surprised to see a small plane circling the field, a man leaning out the door of the plane and throwing something…

"Shit," she heard Bobby curse as another loud rumbling shook the ground, this time closer to them. Lilian winced as she felt the heat from the flames as something impacted the ground and exploded, obviously the result of a bomb, hit her face and body full force. It kind of reminded her of the pyro from Monday Night Raw…

She gasped in surprise when Bobby suddenly grabbed her arm, his coat falling off her shoulders as the wrestler pushed her to the side of the building behind some shrubs just as a third bomb went off no less than ten feet from where they had just been sitting…

Lilian winced, well aware of not only the glass from the hotel windows raining down on her as well as the piercing pain in her left shoulder as something struck her. She was also very aware of the fact that Bobby was laying on top of her, shielding her body from falling debris.

Seconds later, Lilian became aware of the fact that the small plane was flying away and there was now a fire near the entrance of the hotel. "Are you okay?" Bobby asked softly, glancing down at the Latina whom he was pretty much laying on top of. He shifted his weight so he was kneeling next to her.

"I… I think so," Lilian answered slowly, wincing as she glanced down at her shoulder, which had a piece of sharp metal embedded in it. "Well, except for this. Are you okay?"

"I think so," Bobby answered. "Something struck me in the head," he added, lifting a hand to touch the back of his head. When he pulled his hand away, it was covered in blood. "Crap."

"That's what I'm thinking," Lilian answered wryly, struggling to sit up.

Bobby immediately moved to help her, grasping her right arm and pulling her up so she was kneeling as well. "Lilian," he said softly. "I need to get that thing out of your shoulder."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Lilian asked warily, settling back on her heels.

"You don't want to know," Bobby answered with a slight chuckle. "We also need to get to the meeting spot quickly."

Realizing what he was saying, Lilian glanced from her shoulder to him. "Okay… just get it out of my shoulder and we'll get to the spot," Lilian replied. "What do you need me to do?"

Lashley pulled his sweater over his head, tearing the sleeves off and discarding the rest of the sweater quickly. As he spoke, he folded up one of the squares into a rectangle and handed it to her. "Okay, Lilian. I'm gonna pull that thing out. I need you to put the sleeve on the wound as quickly as possible cause it's gonna bleed pretty badly. Then, I'll wrap the other sleeve around it to make a makeshift bandage until we can get you some proper medical care. Okay?"

"Okay," Lilian answered timidly as Bobby grabbed her shoulder and grasped the metal piece protruding from her shoulder.

"You ready?"

She opened her mouth to reply, only to have him yank the piece quickly. Lilian cried out, her vision blurring as she shakily reached up and placed the sweater sleeve over the wound.

Bobby tied off the other sleeve tightly, completing the makeshift bandage. "You okay?" he asked, concerned at the sudden paleness that had come across Lilian's face.

"Yeah," she gasped slightly, struggling to stand. "Come on. We need to get to the meeting spot before everyone panics."

Bobby stood quickly, his arm finding Lilian's waist as he guided her around the former palace and to the back of the hotel where many WWE personnel were milling around, scared and looking nervous. "There they are!" Bobby and Lilian heard Shelton Benjamin call, several medical technicians and WWE superstars running towards them.

"What happened? Where were you two?" Torrie asked, hugging Lilian fiercely. The little blonde didn't answer; rather, she cried out as Torrie hit her injured shoulder.

"Be careful, she's hurt," Bobby warned Torrie.

"You're not exactly unscathed either, tough guy," Lilian replied, the pain in her voice evident.

"Okay, everyone is accounted for now," Bobby heard Vince proclaim. "Where were you two?" he asked, echoing Torrie's question from seconds ago.

"We were out front talking," Bobby answered. "We… we were talking and there was an explosion and we looked up and there was a small plane circling the field. He threw one towards the hotel and we dove for cover."

"More like Bobby grabbed me and threw me to the side," Lilian corrected him.

"I had to get the piece of metal out of her shoulder. That's what took us so long to get back here," Lashley finished.

"Nah, actually, we were just enjoying the nice warm fire that someone so kindly provided," Lilian joked, trying to will the pain in her arm away.

"Here, ma'am, have a seat and let me look at that arm of yours," one of the soldiers said, noticing her discomfort.

"Okay," Lilian agreed, settling down. "But he needs to be looked at too," she added, gesturing to Bobby.

"No, look at her first."

"Bobby, there's more than one soldier here," Lilian replied. "So sit down."

One of the soldiers snickered as Bobby sat. "She's got you trained," he commented, looking at the back of Lashley's head.

Lilian and Bobby glanced at each other, smiling slightly at each other. "Welcome to Iraq," Bobby said softly to Lilian, his hand finding hers to squeeze it.

However, he didn't let go for a long time.

* * *

Lilian sighed as the episode of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit ended. She was bored out of her skull, but there wasn't much she could do. 

She glared down at her shoulder, the reason why she couldn't do much at the moment. While there had been no permanent damage to her shoulder, she had needed ten stitches to close up the wound. Lilian's arm was currently in a sling to prevent her from moving it too much…

Usually, she would be looking over the Raw notes right about now… but Vince had given both her and Lashley the week off to recover from their respective injuries.

Lashley… while she had the cut to her shoulder that required stitches, he had suffered a minor concussion in addition to the eight stitches he had in the back of his head. Not only that, but he had scraped his knee pretty badly when he pushed her out of the way and then dove down to cover her body…

Lilian jumped slightly when she heard a knock on the door of her apartment. She stood up, padding to the door in her slippers as she looked out the peephole.

She raised her eyebrows when she saw who was standing in the doorway. She released the deadbolt and unlocked the door, opening it to look at Bobby.

"Hey," the big man said shyly. "I was in the neighborhood and decided to drop by."

"Hmm," Lilian teased, leaning casually against her doorframe. "I never realized that Colorado Springs was part of my neighborhood."

"Well, you know," Bobby trailed off, smiling at Lilian.

"You want to come in?" Lilian asked, gesturing to her apartment.

"Sure," Bobby answered. Lilian moved aside, allowing him to step into her apartment. He looked very nice in a pair of baggy jeans, black Timberlands, and a tight black long sleeved shirt.

"Sorry it isn't exactly neat," Lilian told her, embarrassed as she moved a pair of shoes off the couch so he could sit down. "I'm not usually messy. I kind of left in a rush last week and haven't really been able to clean with the Jets game I sang at yesterday and the pain in my shoulder today," she explained as Bobby sat down on her plush couch. "I haven't even had a chance to do laundry," Lilian added.

"Neither have I," Bobby answered with a shrug. "So don't worry about it. How are you doing?"

Lilian lifted her uninjured shoulder in a half shrug. "Well, you know. A little sore, a little tired. My body still think I'm in Iraq, so…" she trailed off, sitting down next to him.

"I know that feeling," Bobby chuckled, settling back.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Lilian suddenly asked. "I have soda, beer, or bottled water."

"No, I'm good," Bobby answered, meeting Lilian's gaze.

"So… what's up? What made you drop by?" Lilian finally asked curiously, "Not that I don't mind you being here…"

"I…" the normally calm wrestler was suddenly very nervous as he looked away from Lilian. "I… I'm sorry. I should go," Bobby said softly, moving to stand up.

"No, please, stay," Lilian insisted softly, placing a hand on his bicep to stop him, knowing full well that he could easily shrug her off. However, he allowed her hand to remain there as he stayed seated. "Please, Bobby," she continued. "Obviously you didn't just happen to stroll across the United States and drop by my door. So what's up?"

Bobby hesitated, meeting her eyes as he said, "You're what's up."

Lilian swallowed slightly, suddenly nervous. However, she kept her hand on his elbow as she quietly asked, "What do you mean?"

"I… I really got to know you the last couple of days, Lilian. I liked what learned about you. And if you don't mind me saying this, I think you're a very beautiful woman," Bobby told her softly. "And I… I think I would like to get to know you better. If you allowed me."

Lilian was silent for several moments before finally smiling back at Bobby. "I think I'd like that," she answered. "After all, you did save my life!"

"Oh, come on," Bobby replied, blushing as he took her hand in his. "I didn't save your life."

"Yes you did," Lilian insisted. "I was frozen. I had no idea what to do and you pulled me out of danger's way. I'm eternally grateful for that… and I don't think I've properly thanked you."

"You've thanked me enough," Bobby answered. "The huge fruit basket your parents and sister sent to me yesterday was more than enough…"

"That was them," Lilian told him. "I'm talking about me. I think you deserve a proper thank you from me…"

"Oh?" Bobby asked, lifting an eyebrow. "And how do you plan on 'thanking me'?"

"This way," Lilian answered softly, leaning over and gently kissing him. His hand found the base of her neck and pulled her closer, their lips staying connected for several long moments.

When they finally broke apart, Bobby smiled down at Lilian. "As much as I love fruit, I think I like your apology more," he told her.

Lilian laughed softly, glancing at the clock and seeing that it was almost time for Raw. "Man… I hate being here and not at Raw," she told Bobby. "Do you want to go out to grab a bite to eat?"

"Why, are you asking me out on a date, Ms. Garcia?" Bobby asked her.

"I guess I am," Lilian replied, blushing slightly.

"Well, I would be honored to grab some dinner with you," Bobby answered, standing up and holding a hand out to help her stand. "And to show what a gentleman I am, I'll allow you to pick where we eat."

"Hmm," Lilian replied, tapping her chin as she pretended to contemplate this. "I hope you like Spanish food, cause I know every Spanish cuisine restaurant within a fifteen mile radius and I'm really craving some rice right now!"

Bobby smiled, instinctively leaning down to briefly kiss Lilian again. "I love Spanish food," he whispered to her, resting his head against hers for a few seconds.

Lilian gazed into his dark pools, quickly seeing that she could get used to being mesmerized by the dark depths.

"Me too," she finally replied. "So let's get going!"

* * *

End Part 1/1 


End file.
